Posted in Daily muse, Wordpress prompts, Writing

The clock is my worst enemy



“Clocks slay time-time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels;only when the clock stops does time come to life”-William Faulkner


If I Could Turn Back Time




It is a bit, but the sentiment highlights the sad truth.

Keeping one eye on the clock all day is like feeding an anti-depressant to creativity and enjoyment. It mellows my ability to be spontaneous and free. It’s like tying a piece of fishing line to my mind and reeling it in when the clock shouts-


The ticking clock of time, relentlessly fights to whisk me away from the timelessness of truly living and rushes me forth into the future, quite unwillingly.

“But I’m not ready for the future yet”-Human resistance bites- this diseased state of mind becomes metastatic as it etches its claws into my psyche, a babe born from the womb of mother tick.

Floating my way through life and reaching my full  potential as a person requires me to mentally untie myself from the bounds of routine. 

I must disintegrate my connection with past and future, whilst immersed in the present, if I am to truly live.

Watching the clock is like standing in a long queue in the stifling heat, with uncomfortable shoes and flies and people with bad breath to be simply given permission to move onto the next ‘planned’ task in ones day.

What a drag.

I’m not doing it. I will not be an eternal slave to routine-for my soul will die of starvation.

As my ideal philosophy is to practice living in the now at all times, the past and the future are largely irrelevant to me. Therefore this leads me to mention that I have no interest in re-visiting or altering the pasta dangerous mind game that few people win.



Dear clock,

Please understand that I am fully aware of your position in my life. It’s nothing personal. However my deep aspiration is to pay you little to no attention whatsoever.

My attachment to you in the past has meant that I have not lived. It is only when you are absent from my mind, that I find myself knee deep in bad jokes and fairy bread. When you tap me on the shoulder and shout at me to wake up-which I understand is your unfortunate  job-I realise I have not missed you at all.






When I read the works of others, I search for that special something that ‘STOPS TIME’ for me. Something that makes me ‘feel’, something that exposes truth and induces vulnerability.

For me, vulnerability is one of the most beautiful qualities a writer can possess.


Of the posts I have read today in response to the wordpress promt

‘If I could turn back time’

My favourite piece by far, was a story written by a 17 year old.

Such beautiful words, such bravery, such vulnerability.


I say Thank You to this young talent,  for sharing their story with me today.


Please read here

I’m sure you’ll find it worthwhile



Photo credit: N@ncyN@nce via / CC BY-SA


About Nicole Martin


About this site




I you had nothing, who would you be?








Posted in Daily muse, Poem, Writing


Inspired by A not so Jaded Life with their rendition of Tomorrow



Tomorrow, you will walk through a door

It has been closed forever

and so you have always turned back

but not tomorrow

tomorrow it is open

you will not hesitate

hesitation is the sword from which your blood trickles

you will stand tall and forge ahead

like an army of soldiers

away from the old

and into a world of new possibilities

into a world of second chances

and you will close the door behind you

and you will never, ever, ever, look back

because you can’t

and you won’t

not this time

you’re done

the door is open

and you will walk through it

and you will lock it behind you

and throw away the key

and you will close your eyes


and thank God for tomorrow’s promise 

of a brand new sunrise



Lost Time

To My Boy


Posted in Daily muse, Inspiration, Poem, Stories, Wordpress prompts, Writing

Lost time


Photo credit: zoethustra / / CC BY


I am a willing contributer to your wonderfully inspiring topic:


Thank you

WordPress blogging educator extroadinaire!




‘Grab the minutes with your arms like floating bubbles from a fairy wand…before they disappear into nothingness’


look quickly

over there

it’s bubbles of floating magic

like music in the sky

can you see?


if you blink 

they’ll be butterfly wings

or a new ray of light

go on

catch them 

in your hands

and absorb their wonder 

before they float into the past

and disappear forever 

like the minutes in my day


Heart Story-N.A.Martin

What other than bubbles has the ability to transform me?

The breathtaking warmth of the sun


Described beautifully Here




More posts by Heart Story here 

 My Dog



 copyright © 2015 by N.A.Martin. All rights reserved.


Posted in Mental Health, mindfullness, relaxation

Are you an absorber or a deflector?


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‘Please can someone switch off the noise in my head’


by N.A.Martin


“If you are an absorber and you do not take the necessary time to rest your mind, you will live in a continual  state of fatigue and anxiety”





Do you walk into a room and feel the energy hit you like a freight train?

Do you feel uncomfortable in the presence of some people for no particular reason?

Do you have trouble detaching yourself from negative emotions?

Do you avoid conversation and socialising despite the fact that you consider yourself a social person?

Are you an over thinker?

Are you always tired, especially when you have been dealing with people all day?

Does the thought of Cooking for 20 people at a dinner party exhaust you?

Would you rather stay home after a long day at work than go out?

Chances are, you are an absorber!

Truly relaxing can be extremely challenging for some.

This problem can sometimes become pathological and contribute to conditions such as  insomnia, depression and anxiety and  open the door to  substance abuse or destructive social habits as a way of trying to offload noxious energy.

I often wonder when it was exactly, that I lost the ability to relax.

When I was younger, I had the time to stare out of a window and daydream without interruption for hours. I would do as I pleased. Listen to music, draw, go for a run, or just think.

I slept well and I relaxed well.

It never occurred to me that this over abundance of mental space was actually important recovery time for me.

It is a fact that some personality types actually require more mind recovery time than others.

Those people that deflect the energies of those around them require less recovery time than those that absorb these energies.

Absorbers whether they like it or not are wired to soak up the energy around them until they are saturated. These people are usually the more sensitive, emotional personality types. They fatigue more easily and they are more prone to over stimulation.

Often absorbers  are misunderstood.

They may appear  irritable,  short tempered, stressed, depressed/anxious, difficult or unhappy.

This is true, they may present with these traits! Ouch!

However, they may not be aware the cause of this ‘out of character’ behaviour can be attributed to a serious deficit in mental recovery time.

Attempting to function with a stressed out, over stimulated mind day in, day out, makes for a challenging life. Nobody can do that well.

Absorbers, depending on their immediate level of duress, may have the ability to override their ‘over stimulated mind’ and continue to interact with others quite successfully, even appearing to be the life of the party,  however, this is never sustainable. If they do not give themselves the rejuvenation they require for their personality type, and they continue to absorb the energies around them, therein brews a potential disaster.

I know, that it often exhausts me to socialise when I have had a long day at work. The simplest things such as having a reasonable conversation with someone, can be a challenge.  Since having children and working full time I rarely allow myself the time I need to fully rejuvenate in exactly the way I need to- as I regularly did in my former years.

I often live in a state of over stimulation absorbing the energy of everyone around me continuously, with sleep my only reprieve.

Living in this state, gives one the distorted perception that one is in constant demand, or one has no spare time for themselves, or one is the busiest person on the planet, when in actual fact, their life may not be any more demanding than Joe Bloggs down the road.

This is why absorbers love to sleep.

The land of nod provides a much needed escape from the constant flow of energy that they absorb from the world around them.

It has taken me years of unnecessary self torture to unravel the cause of my inability to relax.

I was simply living in a continuous state of over stimulation.

I was so full of everyone else’s energy, that I had no capacity to feel the essential emotions that make us feel alive. Humour, fun, elation, excitement, peace, enjoyment.

The internet, work, kids, husband, family, friends, news, TV, radio, life in general all radiate energy, and absorbers take all of that in and then add to it with their lovely genetic tendency to overthink as well. All of this equates to one thing-


I have now learned the consequence of my nature ( to absorb others energies opposed to deflecting them) is rapid over stimulation when coupled with a lack of mind recuperation.

The solution?

An enormous down time requirement.

When I say downtime, I mean an environment with little to no stimulation, every day. No internet, no talking, no interaction with people, no writing, just nothingness.

The result, I have discovered, is miraculous.

The result, is an entirely different person. A rested person, who has a much greater capacity for others.

This is not always achievable however, as life will always find a way of creeping up on you before you have a chance to refuel. This is normal.  I now understand, it’s a matter of self management.  If  I am feeling overwhelmed,  it is because I have not given myself enough time to empty my mind of emotions, thoughts and energies, and so I will politely remove myself from all stimulation as soon as is humanly possible and do what I need to do to rejuvenate.  If your friends and family know you well enough, they will understand the need for you to do that. If not, they may question your requirement to run away from them. Simply give them a lesson in Biology and reassure them that it is all Grandma’s fault as you have inherited a brain that is extremely empathic, but needs regular grease and oil changes to run smoothly. They might not get it, but they’ll appreciate the new relaxed you when you return.

It’s just the way it is for the hypersensitive empathic personality type.

Deflectors on the other hand, may appear cold, or incapable of feeling empathy. They often don’t operate on quite as deep an emotional level as absorbers, and can’t see the point in dwelling on things, however, they have a gifted ability to deflect the energies around them.

Absorbers may struggle to truly connect with a deflector, and may feel lonely in their company, however, they can actually be a godsend to them. They can act to ‘lighten’ the absorbers mind.

Deflectors have a strong ability to multi-task and not only cope with, but enjoy a high energy demanding life.

They make efficient managers as they have the ability to separate themselves emotionally  from difficult situations.

They suffer from burnout ‘less’ than do absorbers.

Deflectors require less down time than an absorber to operate on a healthy rested emotional level because they naturally deflect, which in turn sustains their rested state of mind.

So if you are an absorber, it is very important to calculate your required down time- The quantity of time you personally require to freshen up your mind- and take it. Some need more time out than others, its as simple as that.

C’est la vie!

Recognise when you are over stimulated and if possible, completely remove yourself from that environment,  with yoga, exercise, meditation, reading or whatever it may be that works for you.



Take the time you need to cultivate a healthy mind.



You are not a grouch,

You are not boring,

You are not anti-social,

and you are not acopic.

Your mind is simply tired.


💚All of Me-N.A.Martin


Posted in Daily December, Daily muse, Deep, Inspiration, Poem, Stories

Lost time


Photo credit: zoethustra / / CC BY

Daily December



‘Grab the minutes with your arms like floating bubbles from a blowing wand…before they disappear into nothingness’


look quickly

over there

it’s bubbles of floating magic

like music in the sky

can you see?


if you blink 

they’ll be butterfly wings

or a new ray of light

go on

catch them 

in your hands

and absorb their wonder 

before they float into the past

and disappear forever 

like the minutes in my day


Heart Story-N.A.Martin


More posts by Heart Story here 



My Dog





copyright © 2015 by N.A.Martin. All rights reserved.


Posted in Poem, Stories

If you had nothing, who would you be?



Photo credit: Kathleen Tyler Conklin via / CC BY


If you had nothing, Who would you be?


Who are you

When your mask is peeled away?

When you lie there naked at the end of a day?

When your heart is maliciously stolen away?

When your truth won’t ever go away?

Who would you be

If stripped of all you know?

With absolutely nothing left to show?

In a world where advantage dare not bestow?

Listen if you will

Calm your mind let demons still

I’ll tell you who you’d be

If all was lost to thee

You’d warm a million hearts and soothe a million souls

You’d lead those lost in winter break free from the cold

Jealously would leave you, appreciation’d return

Elation, acceptance, you’d no longer yearn

Your beauty would transpire, your raw self the light

When freedom is born, you’d give up the fight

So when money and prestige and life simply batters

Trust in yourself, that none of this matters

For when age is upon us and all disappears

All we are left with is the love in our years


💚Heart Story-N.A.Martin



Copyright © All rights reserved. N.A.Martin. 2015