Posted in blogging, My wordpress, Wordpress prompts

The last big Saturday night I had?-It’s been archived!

‘My rocking party occurs when I can hear a pin drop and I’ve managed to clear all 3 of them out for the day.’

The last big Saturday night that I had?

Let me just delve into the depths of my mind in an attempt to retract this memory.

Nope, nothing.

I’m sure there must have been one in the past, but all memory of it has obviously been stored off campus-as THAT volume was closed long ago.

More recent records of Saturday night events are digitally stored, but consist mainly of cooking children dinner, cleaning up after swimming carnivals, walking the pooch,  and refereeing various shouting matches between husband and children when they exercise their apparent ‘teenager’ rights.

For me, Saturday nights resemble Monday nights, and Tuesday nights, and Thursday nights.

My rocking party occurs when I can hear a pin drop and I’ve managed to clear all 3 of them out for the day.

coffee daria

 

Saturday Night-Wordpress Daily Prompt.

Posted in Writing 101

Day 2 Writing 101- Things I like

6187273416_5882b8db50_oPhotography by Samuel Sharpe

Things I like…

Everyday Gems

Freshly Brewed Coffee

The mere thought is heaven to the senses; it’s all too familiar scent opens the flood gates of my Salivary glands, cascading it’s juices into my begging mouth. My nares flicker in aim of absorbing every last airborne coffee-soaked molecule that floats in steam, wafting from the brim of the pot; The ears instantly form a direct connection with the stomach when the Kettle sings its early morning  sonnet, and the taste buds stand to attention, military style, the second the warm liquid blankets my tongue.

Hot baths

After a day that never ends, my muscles scream at me and force the frown line between my brow to once again crack in resentment. The headache that could kill a baby elephant, the sighs that could inflate a balloon and the feet with nails embedded in their undersides remain tortured as the chores continue to role out before me.

Then, solace, as the warmth of the water envelopes my crying body and moves it closer toward a restfull state. All the perplexities of the day dissolve into the water that surrounds me; The frown line tapers, and the lips slope upward ever so slightly into their corners.

Listening to Music

A wicked beat, an addictive sound or a tear your heart out lyric  catapults me into the stratosphere. From there I grow fairy wings donning a pretty silver lining on their perfect edges and glitter grows on my face and falls like snow down to earth. It transforms me into an Olympic athlete, with muscles of steel and an impenetrable determination.  A romantic poet from the 1700’s is born from within the depths of me, and I am a successful novelist who inspires for a living.

Posted in Funny

PINK BATS FOR FATHER’s DAY-PART ONE

This is the way our family deals with Father’s Day-Almost every year.

Father’s Day? It’s Father’s Day? Oh blast, really? I thought it was next week? Wasn’t it in May? Did anybody buy dad anything?

“Don’t worry mum, I’ve got it sorted”- Xavier chirps

“I went to the Father’s Day stall at school”

Excellent, another year of back scratchers and mugs with ‘THE WORLD’s GREATEST DAD’ printed on them. We could do with another mug, there is a serious mug shortage in our house. At last count we were scrimping it on a mere 23 mugs. Including MY lovely two, with the words ‘World’s greatest mum’ printed across their shiny white porcelain surface.

“What did you buy him?”-I queried

“Dracula teeth”

“Dracula teeth? Yeah, he’s going to love it. By the way, where is he?”

Now Father’s Day is so important to us, that we decided to celebrate it by insulating the roof. Well, when I say WE….I mean Michael.

Although there are days I would very much like to shove him in the roof, today was a bit of a rough one. No coffee, no breakfast in bed, just him and some pink bats. I’m sure most families are having lovely breakfasts and lunches, laughs and toasts. Not us, there’s nothing like a fibreglass shower and some Dracula teeth for a treat.

“He’s in the roof”

“He’s where?”

“He’s in the roof”

“Why?”

…before I could respond, Xavier ran to the manhole and screamed

“Daaaaaaaaaaaad”

-No answer

“Daaaaaaaaad. Come down, I have a present for you”

Before too long, Michael’s footsteps could be heard tramping down the metal rungs of the ladder. He was absolutely filthy, sweating from every single square cm of his skin, and obviously itchy- if the possessed manner in which he was scratching was any indication.

Xavier in the meantime was so excited to give his dad the Dracula teeth, that he was dancing around like a clown and singing opera….? Strange I know, but this is one different kid.

Flynn-“Xavier, you are so loud in the morning”

Michael-“Xavier, your VOICE”

Xavier-“Dad, YOUR face”

Whilst everyone was getting along so famously, I noticed my eyes were uncontrollably itchy…

Me:”Oh no, I think I have something stuck in my teeth”

Flynn- “Your teeth?”

Me-“I mean my eyes, my eyes”

Xavier, noticing Michael was duct taping up his shirt (He duct tapes everything in sight..btw), decided it would be fun to duct tape up his dad’s mouth. The mere suggestion, prompted Flynn to announce;

“If anyone’s mouth is going to be duct taped Xavier, it’s not going to be dad’s”

Xavier immediately filled the air with another humongous baritone note, just in case the place wasn’t noisy enough.

-Meanwhile, Flynn began making himself a coffee.

He was quite meticulous and was appearing to take his time with the finer details.

Me-“Is that normal coffee Flynn or decaf? It better be decaf!” I warned

He paused for a moment as if deeply puzzled, then peered into the cup.

Me-“So? Normal or decaf?”

Flynn-“It appears I have forgotten to add the actual coffee”

Michael-“So it’s just hot water?”

Flynn looking at Michael as if he was completely stupid.

Flynn-“No dad. Hot water AND sugar”

Michael looked at me in disbelief, words clearly escaping him.

Xavier promptly jumps in-

Xavier-“Wake up dozy”

Extremely happy his brother was less than perfect for once, he smugly pushed him aside and began to make HIS cereal.

He picked up the coffee jar, that Flynn forgot to use, and began to smother his rice bubbles with it.

Me-“Nice. Coffee flavoured rice bubbles now Xav”

His eyes grew wide and his hands jerked to a halt.

Xavier- “Oh noooooooo. I could have sworn that was sugar”

Happy Father’s Day Michael…..Michael? …-and just like that, he was back in the roof.

Posted in Articles, Inspiration

Finding the time to write

image

Morning, morning, morning 🙂

I am currently hoeing into a steak sandwich, with BBQ sauce and fresh white bread.

The kettle is on the boil, and I am very much looking forward to my first sit down for the day.

Actually, my first sit down for a while.

Where have I been?

Buried.

No. I am not dead yet, but buried in the lovely entity we call work.

Work, life, balance?

Nope.

Work, life, kids, husbands, dogs, swimming carnivals, shopping, work, life, kids…..etc-and so the cycle continues, hearing me?

A few curious souls have asked me how I find the time to write.

The short answer to that is-I DON’T!

Time IS limited, for all of us. Everybody is busy, all of the time. I find, even if I’m not that busy, my perception, is that I am!

I know myself. If I really don’t want to do something, it’s amazing how busy I can instantly become….a great excuse…but if I desire something intensely enough, I’ll do anything to find the time.

So in order to sit down and write this, I have hairy eyebrows, an overdue hair appointment and a heck of a lot of housework yelling at me :)) ahh the joys.

I am currently working on a post I’ll be sharing soon, entitled;

TO MY BOY

Warmly, xN

Posted in Funny

CAFFEINE

CAFFEINE

I have been meaning to apologise to Scott and Adrian for my performance at the twilight swimming carnival the other night.

When I decided to purchase a coffee from the kiosk, I could never have imagined the effect it would have had on me. I mean, I’ve had strong coffee’s before, but this one was out of this world.

The thought of a nice, lovely, coffee had been roaming around in my mind for some time. There is nothing better than consuming an exquisite coffee, when you are dying for one.

I asked around…..”Anyone for coffee?”

Before I knew it, I had a few orders.

Now ordering coffee in 2015 is not the same as ordering coffee in 1982. It used to be;

“Are you having a coffee?” -and the response would either be;

“yes please”…. Or “No thank you” ……NOW….you need a photographic memory to remember the order.

“Yes please, I’ll have a skinny latte, half strength, 1 sugar…”
“I’ll have a soy cap, double strength, no sugar”
“Short black, 2 sugars…..”

Right. I waltzed happily on over to the swimming pool Kiosk. The bloke taking the orders, was the same bloke who was making them, so the queue was lengthy. Lots of random chit chat was had between fellow coffee orderers while we were patiently waiting. My thirst for my coffee was increasing.

It was finally my turn.

The bloke who served me was young, kind of hip, totally into pleasing everyone, and seemed to be all over it. I mentioned to him that I had a few complicated orders, however he seemed to be excited by this, keen to show us all that he was a gun coffee maker and the complication of the order didn’t fuss him. I began to feel concerned that there might be a Kuffufle when he not only took milliseconds to absorb my order, but also took other orders at the same time. Oh, let me tell you from that moment on, I knew there was a debacle brewing. I was so concerned that I not only asked him to repeat the order, but I dropped the half strength in view of uncomplicating things. When he announced that he would bring the coffees TO me up in the grandstand over THEEEEERRREEE……..I knew it was all over.

Immediately I sent Michael over to retrieve the beverages, as I knew this coffee maker had bitten off more than he could chew.

The coffees arrived, in quite a timely manner I might add. Flat white instead of latte, cap with no sugar, etc etc…..as I thought, but oh well, give me, give me, give meeee my coffee. Coffee is coffee right?

I sipped mine. Blaaa. Tasted like, like, I don’t know what, but I ran for a few extra sugars to counteract the bitterness. Ahh that’s better….and then IT HIT ME. Wham. Caffeine surge. Words started coming out of my mouth at 100 kph. I couldn’t stop them. Every thought in my head, was out there. I felt my eyes grow in size, my nerves jump to attention, the smile on my face a permanent fixture. I was totally wired.

It was my turn to timekeep. With Scott and Adrian. Let me tell you it was the most exciting time keeping session ever. My reflexes were sharp. The gun would go off for a race, and I’d have the stop watch pressed so quickly it was frightening. Time after time I’d line myself up, right foot forward, left foot back, and wham, I started the stop watch with lightening speed, sometimes I think I even beat the gun. Running commentary was flowing from my mouth like silk. I quickly ran for a toilet break, not walked……skipped, hopped, whatever my charged up nerves told me to do.

I passed the coffee making bloke and he yelled out…..”How was your coffee?”……I looked at him and announced simply “Absolutely, flipping fantastic”…….he looked relieved, and replied:

“Oh, thank G– for that. The minute you walked away after ordering, I forgot the order and just thought F$&@…..”

I raced back to timing. All of a sudden, I felt dozy. My concentration was failing. The sweat was accumulating on my brow from the stress of missing the commencement of a race. I was quiet. If asked a question, I would reply with “Hmm? Sorry, did you say something” everything was an effort and I just wanted to go to sleep, one race just flowed into another, I was on autopilot, I felt absolutely horrible.

The following day, I arrived at the pool to collect the kids, when greeted by some apparently amused adults…..

“So we shouldn’t serve YOU coffee again”
” How do you know?”
“Oh we were all watching the scene unfold in the grandstand with Michael, who kept saying ‘What is wrong with her..??”….t’was brilliant. Don’t know what happened in the swimming, but you were a scream!”

The question has to be asked-how could one coffee, have that great an effect?

I think old mate may have served me quad strength av gas with coffee flavouring!