Posted in Elephant Journal, My wordpress, Story, Wordpress prompts, Writing

Dealing With Change

Black and White anime couple:

‘Change is the constant, yet life confronts me and I am dragged forward, many times over’

 

Dealing With Change

 

Author

Nicole Martin

There have been times in my life when ‘change’ has been warmly welcomed-a breath of fresh air, one could say.

Occasionally a bright new opportunity has presented itself resulting in a newly challenged, motivated me.

But change has also been brutal-knocking me off my feet, leaving me empty, heavy-hearted and fearful. The resentment and frustration I felt at the time, caused me to challenge the situation and fight in desperation to hang onto what was already gone- but eventually, the denial was corroded by the call for acceptance.

I remember so clearly the day my son graduated from Junior School. His friends, the brotherhood, were united in the anticipation of this momentous occasion. When it was time for their goodbyes, devastation hit the decks. Heartfelt tears rolled forward as they clung onto each other, their young souls aching.

As I watched from a distance and felt their pain one slow minute after another, I knew that they were fearful.

They were now stepping into the unknown, fearful of a future without their friends close by. Sorrowful at the loss of their past and resistant to accept the change that was closing a chapter in their lives, never to be re-lived.

‘With age, comes wisdom.’

How do we let go of what is gone forever?

Once gone, there is no possible way to bring back the past-this shocking truth can wound the strongest of souls-but our most loved memories are never completely lost.

 It’s within this epiphany that they key to letting go is hiding.

The key to moving forward comes with the understanding that precious memories very close to our hearts are entwined within our Journey of life.

Sure, it is necessary to keep rolling forward, but at the same time, we carry inside us all the pieces that represent our lives lived so far-and there is no need, to ‘let them go’ or ‘erase them.’

Ironically, the key to letting go and moving happily forward, is in NOT letting go of those memories we cherish, but in taking them with us and allowing them to live forever in our minds,  as we move through change.

~

All Relationships Change-with the exception of a select few-the keepers

For me, circumstances changed and friendships changed with the cycle of life whether I liked it or not.

People sauntering in, people fading out, each and every one of them serving a purpose-all playing a part in my journey of life.

Over the years, reflection has brought me to the realisation that some have walked with me for a while, and have then parted as they’ve discovered their own path.

There are those that have taken great pleasure in filling my path with obstacles and confusing signage, in a desperate need for me to lose my way and walk ‘their’ journey-yet it never really feels right though does it?-Like a square peg in a round hole-yet strangely, we all do it in hope of holding onto something we care about.

Others have left but a tiny footprint in the sand, one of pure perfection and endearment, a fleeting visit but an impression all the same.

There are those that have caught a ride on my back- I willingly carried them, but they weighed me down, and I slowly sank into the depths of the sand until I eventually found the strength to shake them off.

Some came screaming up behind me, with limitless energy and promises of tomorrow. They offered gifts of exhilaration and excitement—a welcome change to my seemingly mundane path. I snatched them like an excited child, only to find they didn’t exist, the promises were hollow, and they were never really walking beside me in the first place-but I was blinded by my own masterpiece. I only saw, what I desired them to be.

Many were ghosts in the night, crossing my path briefly and then vanishing as quickly as they came, their images too faint to make a memory.

 

And then there are the keepers

The ones who lay down a thousand lamps so that we may see

The ones whose fingertips are laser beams, showering infinite rays of color over our journey

The ones who blow the cool breeze our way when we swelter

The ones who stand back when we need to run

The ones who hold our hands when the path becomes rocky

The ones who carry us when we are bleeding

The ones who get back up, when we push them away

The ones whose arms are there when we reach out

The ones who always see the real us, despite our disguise

The ones whose footprints remain, right beside ours, throughout the billowing storm, until all the pieces have been placed and the puzzle is complete.

~

So in times of change and uncertainty, I always try to turn around and face my path. I look for the keepers that will always be there, patiently waiting to take my hand and shed light on the journey ahead.

And I look for the beloved footprints behind me, taking comfort in the fact that they can never be erased.

They will always be part of my life, and they will always be a part of my journey.

Together we travel towards wisdom.

Post Inspired by the Daily Prompt

Mad Libs

When consulting a friend on post ideas, she declined to provide an adjective, noun or article specifically. She simply said, please write something on  ‘Dealing with Change’

So I spent some time heavily editing an old story of mine, and brought it back to life.

I hope you enjoy it.

Nicole

x

Posted in blogging, My wordpress, Stories, Wordpress prompts, Writing

Eating is a means to an end for me…

Decent Image Scraps: Animation 8

 'I'd run for 50 days and 50 nights to free the dog that is being savagely neglected.'

Live to Eat-Word Press Daily Prompt

Author

Nicole Martin

How far would I travel for the best meal I have ever had?

I’d travel to the end of the earth, to witness happiness on the face of a lonely child

I’d travel 10 times around the world to smell the drenched earth of Africa after the rains

I’d drive for 3 days straight to lay sprawled on a blanket, under a brilliant night sky, with a hot chocolate, a loved one and a story to tell.

I’d hop on one leg for a thousand kilometres if I thought I could convince just one beautiful teenager, with the world at their feet, from jumping behind the wheel intoxicated.

I’d run for 50 days and 50 nights to free the dog that is being savagely neglected.

I’d teach myself to fly, and use these skills to circumnavigate the earth for 6 years, If I thought it would protect our planet from senseless human destruction.

How far would I travel for the best meal I’ve ever had?

The food that graces my plate every single blessed night, is all I need, and I would go no further than my own kitchen to find it.

Posted in blogging, Deep, My wordpress, Wordpress prompts, Writing

Your arms

 Your arms

🍁

 

You are here with me, and yet

you are not

you are somewhere else- and I am here

and I am lost

You know, If I could,

I would run to you and fall

fall rapidly out of myself-and into you

for a moment

and you would throw your arms around me

and I would whisper your name

Can you hear me?

Please tell me you hear me

I want to be embedded in your senses

I want to whisper your name

Come

come over here and let me lose myself in you

Let me embellish you with my tenderness

 let me take away your pain

Should we go somewhere babe?

Let’s go,

 I want to steal you away

if only for a sweet moment

so you can throw your arms around me

and I can whisper your name

let’s evaporate into conjoined nothingness

for a second

and entwine our tragic hearts 

To a place with no voice

and a place void of walls

come

come over here to me and  lock your hand in mine

let us run

 Let us be free of concrete minds

and of the societal locks that asphyxiate us

and let us inhale the virgin scent of our truth

for a moment-

let me embellish you with my tenderness

let me take away your pain

Entice me to come to you and I’ll engulf your space and replace it with me

I will be  your overwhelming distraction

you will be my every thought

You know, if I could, I would run to you and fall-fall rapidly out of myself

-and into you

and you would throw your arms around me

and I would whisper your name

let me lose myself in you

for just one selfish moment

let me ignite you with my touch

 Let me give you

All of me

Now

and

Forever-

but I am here

and you are there…

Posted in blogging, Deep, My wordpress, Story, Wordpress prompts, Writing

Throw your arms around me

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Author

Nicole Martin

 WordPress Daily Prompt

Throw your arms around me

You are here with me, and yet

you are not

You are somewhere else- and I am here

and I am lost

You know, If I could, I would run to you and fall

fall rapidly out of myself-and into you

for a moment

and you would throw your arms around me

and I would whisper your name

Can you hear me?

Please tell me you hear me

I want to be embedded in your senses

I want to whisper your name

Come

come over here and let me lose myself in you

Let me embellish you with my tenderness

 let me take away your pain

Should we go somewhere babe?

-Let’s go,

 I want to steal you away

so you can throw your arms around me

and I can whisper your name

let’s rip up the rule book

and breathe our own truth

let’s run from the reality

that’s encompassing and slowly asphyxiating me

and

let me embellish you with tenderness

let me take away your pain

Should we talk until dawn

and tear shreds off our skin?

Shall we kiss new found freedom

and soar and laugh and sing?

-and then

I want to engulf your personal space and replace it with me

I want to be your distraction

and I want to whisper your name

You know, if I could, I would run to you and fall-fall rapidly out of myself

-and into you

and you would throw your arms around me

and I would whisper your name

let me lose myself in you

let me ignite you with my touch

let me take away your pain

 give yourself to me

I want you

I want all of you

Now

and

Forever-

but I am here

and you are there…

 

 

Posted in blogging, My wordpress, Wordpress prompts

The last big Saturday night I had?-It’s been archived!

‘My rocking party occurs when I can hear a pin drop and I’ve managed to clear all 3 of them out for the day.’

The last big Saturday night that I had?

Let me just delve into the depths of my mind in an attempt to retract this memory.

Nope, nothing.

I’m sure there must have been one in the past, but all memory of it has obviously been stored off campus-as THAT volume was closed long ago.

More recent records of Saturday night events are digitally stored, but consist mainly of cooking children dinner, cleaning up after swimming carnivals, walking the pooch,  and refereeing various shouting matches between husband and children when they exercise their apparent ‘teenager’ rights.

For me, Saturday nights resemble Monday nights, and Tuesday nights, and Thursday nights.

My rocking party occurs when I can hear a pin drop and I’ve managed to clear all 3 of them out for the day.

coffee daria

 

Saturday Night-Wordpress Daily Prompt.

Posted in blogging, Inspiration, mindfullness, My wordpress, Wordpress prompts, Writing

Do not spend your life’s entirety engaged in thoughts of What if’s, If only’s, and I should have’s.

‘People will become, who they are told they are-and moments will become, what you believe them to be.’

Author

Nicole Martin

Today really IS just another day. You know those days? I have them often- A common, ordinary,  deja vu , bland,  kind of day?

The weather is standard for this time of year.

I have the same clothes on as I did last week.

My dog lies curled up on the couch, where he normally lies, with the same sulky expression on his face.

The housework is there as it was yesterday still waiting to be attended to- I see it, process the thought -“Darn it, I really should put that washing away”-and embark on something more pleasurable knowing it will still be there tomorrow.

Is this acceptable, I wonder?

Is it acceptable that my day is ‘Just another day?’

Am I wasting my time?

Sometimes it bothers me.

Sometimes, I wonder whether I should be trying to make it spectacular in some way.

Whether I’m selling my life short because I’m not jumping out of a plane, or sipping some exotic beverage in Cuba, adorned with a little pink umbrella.

Should I be filling my days with ‘bucket list’ plans and setting challenging goals to prove to myself  I’m not just a standard person, who is stuck in a standard day?

I mean, do I need to embark on saving  an endangered species from extinction to make my day count?

Would I have less worth as a human being if I wasn’t teaching English to orphaned children in Siberia,  or feeding the homeless, or participating in Yoga lead by a Budhist Monk in the mountain peaks of Tibet?

I often ponder these questions as I sit in my ordinary study, ‘stuck’-it would seem- inside the bubble of an ordinary day.

As quickly as they came, the questions in my mind concerning the validity of my perceived mediocrity vanished as my attention was redirected-for a moment-to a little Ant who bravely believed he could walk right over my left hand and get away with it.

“Do you mind Ant?” I asked him

He carried on, completely unperturbed by the possibility of his impending death.

I watched and wondered what he was doing as he stealthily skimmed the surface of my skin, weaving in between my veins and negotiating a path through my fine hair. Perhaps he had been told to collect some food for dinner? Or to grab some supplies to reinforce the delicate structure of his home?

Why do I write of the Ant? What is it’s relevance?

Good question.

Initially, my mind was delighted to inform me that I was a mediocre person experiencing a standard day, with little or nothing to enjoy.

Along came an Ant, and instantly, these self produced thoughts were replaced by the simple delight in observing the funny little antics of nature.

So is one’s sense of mediocrity simply a state of mind self-perpetuated by societal or self-driven judgements?

I think so.

One will be ‘bored’ or ‘standard’ or ‘mediocre’ if one believes it to be the case.

I believe there IS merit in ‘Striving for excellence.’ However in order achieve this, we must fill ourselves with the knowledge that we are ALWAYS so much more than we believe.

That every single moment in our lives is interesting, spectacularly unique and overflowing with possibility and second chances- until the day we die.

It is never, ever too late to realise there is no such thing as a standard day.

Each day is new.

Each day is a gift.

The ‘Labeling’ of an individual-or a moment-as mediocre is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

People will become, who they are told they are-and moments will become, what you believe them to be.

Do not spend your life’s entirety engaged in thoughts of

What if’s, If only’s, and I should have’s.

Instead, focus on what you are doing RIGHT NOW- and relish in the gift of living an extra ordinary life.

Oh, and just one little thing-never underestimate the value of an Ant!

“We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.”

-Brad Meltzer

Just Another Day-WordPress Prompt