Posted in Writing



“And so, it begins-the transformation of my once broken soul, into a strong, confident, happy, and balanced person…” -Avesha

These idealistic words are the title of an article I recently read in The Elephant Journal. Have you ever felt so helpless in your situation that you have sought help from someone else’s words? You know, you do the ghastly thing and google how to fix yourself? I do this with a frequency more regular than I’d like to admit-on track and balanced for a period of time and then in spectacular fashion I manage to throw myself off balance again-it’s quite a talent.

I have often wondered whether this is because I’ve never fully developed the tools I need to sustain balance in my life, or whether it is just the process-the natural ebbs and flows we have no control over.

Very recently I came to a shock realisation (after struggling mentally for the umpteenth time with my perceived ebbs) that perhaps I had more control over my outcomes than I thought. My entire life I have lived by the philosophies ‘what will be, will be’…and ‘everything happens for a reason’-but I am pondering the possibility for the first time that maybe, with some work, I can create outcomes that are more positive, and more in line with what makes me feel happy and even inspired.

I have never actively practised this philosophy-but nothing changes if nothing changes…right?

Fate will not intervene and save us when self sabotage is our plan.

Now, one thing I have learned over the years is that nobody ever intentionally (pathological causes aside) sabotages their outcomes in life. Rather, we do it unknowingly because of a failure to recognise a disruption in our balance.

Why? Because we are well equipped to deal with the subtle changes. We have many built in reserves as humans and thus continue to put pressure on our balance for two reasons:

  1. Because we believe we can cope, and
  2. We are too distracted by our first world timetables and high demands on our time to notice

What happens next?

We regress a little more and begin to implement unhealthy behaviours in order to make ourselves feel better- ignoring our feelings, denying we are not happy, cutting back on the activities that resonate with us to please others, working longer hours to earn more money, just to name a few.

What happens next?

We use these bad behaviours as a crutch which seems to help for a period of time, until it doesn’t, and our lives start to fall apart in whatever form the Gods choose to use- addiction, resentment, anger, guilt, anxiety and depression, substance abuse, relationship challenges.

But what if we could restore the balance to our lives before the destruction set in?

What if we could break the cycle of self sabotage and actually ensure positive outcomes?

What if we simply made the decision to be happy for a day despite what was going on in our heads and what was happening around us?

It’s food for thought.


"I have been writing and creating images all my life-though it's only now, that I have finally let in the light" ~N.Martin


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