‘This morning, it was all about finding the strength to endure the bitter- in order to taste the sweet.’
Resentful or Driven?
The battle of two minds
The resentful me tastes the bitter but not the sweet when the alarm clock prematurely kicks me out of bed.
It’s 0500 HRS.
‘Come on- swallow it babe, are you a man or a mouse?’
‘Well put your shoes on mouse, grab your towel, and walk out the door’
Sometimes I wish this ‘drive’ would relent and allow me to relax, but it’s because of IT, that I get up and walk out the door, swimming kit in hand.
Resentful me re-appears after a short recess, when it observes we are not alone but have company of a distinct astrological nature.
The chill in the air stings my bare feet, and solidifies the frown on my face. Yikes, an army of goosebumps stand to attention on the surface of my skin, proudly announcing their presence.
My foot deepens it’s relationship with the accelerator.
Resentment once again obscures clarity but my ‘driven self’ quickly engages, utilising yet another tool in it’s repertoire-the art of distraction-I twist the black nob of the car radio and am instantly greeted by an old man drowning in intellect and steadfast opinions, babbling on about the economic situation in China in monotone waves-I mean, where do you find these people?
I hobble bare foot over the cold, rocky gravel-my tactile feet once cozy and relaxed from slumber are now uncomfortably awake as they negotiate the edgy footpath.
I pick up the pace in aim of expediting the whole process.
The quicker I’m in, the quicker I’m out.
The water is cool at first- but a good old fashioned whinge, a few laboured laps, and I quickly adjust.
Familiarity strikes as I re-acquaint myself with the black and the blue.
My body is heavy.
My form of a few months ago, all but gone, but I know, discipline will regain it.
Making a home outside the perimeter of comfort, cursing the darkness, resenting the alarm clock, facing the constant urge to give up, and enduring the battle between two very different states of mind- resentment and drive, is all part of the Journey toward achievement.
This morning, it was all about finding the strength to endure the bitter- in order to taste the sweet.
Word press Daily Prompt
Matyas Dinai Bandi Graepel