30 Things I’ll never understand

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30 Things I’ll never understand

~N.A.Martin

  1. Why my piece of toast falls butter side DOWN every time

  2. Why you CAN’T KILL A COCKROACH

  3. Why mosquitoes love to bite some people more than others

  4. Why pink doesn’t go with red

  5. Why I can never find a matching pair of socks, where do all the socks go?

  6. Why my pen always disappears at work, where do all the pens go?

  7. Why the kids all of a sudden, can’t find anything when it’s time to leave, and it’s never their fault

  8. Why 8 pm bedtime means let’s have an epic toilet visit, a deep and meaningful conversation, and ‘but I haven’t done my homework’

  9. Why some people are always late, and some people are always early

  10. Why my dog loves my husband more than me

  11. Why when the kids play basketball or soccer, they can NEVER get it through the goal or in the hoop but as soon as I appear they never miss my head

  12. Why pumpkin is so hard to cut

  13. Why no matter how much I vacuum, there is always more dog fur

  14. Why there’s 24 hours in a day, but I never have any time

  15. Why brilliant people have to die, and evil ones seemingly live forever

  16. Why bullies, will always be bullies, and will always get away with it

  17. Why manners in children are a distant memory

  18. Why we have disempowered teachers, and handed over control to emotionally immature children, who are in desperate need for direction.

  19. Why discipline, tradition, respect and aiming for excellence are now politically incorrect

  20. Why athletes are cool and academics are dorky

  21. Why salada biscuits never break down the manufactured lines, but crack wherever they feel like it, causing me to question why I’ll never learn, and why I always throw a tantrum for the inconvenience, when I know it’s going to happen

  22. Why I lose my phone sparking a 15 minute searching frenzy every single time I’m talking on it

  23. Why I vague out during almost every credit card transaction in the shops, leaving the shop assistant patiently waiting for me to input my PIN, while I drift away and contemplate the thoughts in my head….quickly followed by…”when you’re ready” and “oh gosh sorry, I am half asleep”

  24. Why, when we are considered an intelligent privileged culture, we are actually properly broken, with divorce, depression, suicide, obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, domestic violence, and ignorance controlling our daily lives, and effecting our happiness, but third world cultures, who are considered less privileged, and who have much much less than us, are scientifically proven to be ‘happier’.

  25. Why when I walk into Bunnings I turn into a man

  26. Why I never get sick of the taste of Coke

  27. How something can fall behind the couch and enter the black hole of nowhere, never, ever to be seen again, causing endless frustration with the knowledge this thing is cruising somewhere with all the socks and pens of the world

  28. How the remote control is solely responsible for domestic violence, family fights and major control issues, metamorphosing otherwise lovely children and husband into wild, defensive monsters.

  29. Why I’m leaving number 30 blank, so that you can fill it in!


4 thoughts on “30 Things I’ll never understand

  1. 1 Why my piece of toast falls butter side DOWN every time
    2. Why you CAN’T KILL A COCKROACH
    3. Why mosquitoes love to bite some people more than others
    4. Why pink doesn’t go with red
    5. Why I can never find a matching pair of socks, where do all the socks go?
    6. Why my pen always disappears at work, where do all the pens go?
    7. Why the kids all of a sudden, can’t find anything when it’s time to leave, and it’s never their fault
    8. Why 8 pm bedtime means let’s have an epic toilet visit, a deep and meaningful conversation, and ‘but I haven’t done my homework’
    9. Why some people are always late, and some people are always early
    10. Why my dog loves my husband more than me
    12. Why when the kids play basketball or soccer, they can NEVER get it through the goal or in the hoop but as soon as I appear they never miss my head
    13. Why pumpkin is so hard to cut
    14. Why no matter how much I vacuum, there is always more dog fur
    15. Why there’s 24 hours in a day, but I never have any time
    16. Why brilliant people have to die, and evil ones seemingly live forever
    17. Why bullies, will always be bullies, and will always get away with it
    18. Why manners in children are a distant memory
    19. Why we have disempowered teachers, and handed over control to emotionally immature children, who are in desperate need for direction.
    20. Why discipline, tradition, respect and aiming for excellence is now politically incorrect
    21. Why athletes are cool and academics are dorky
    22. Why salada biscuits never break down the manufactured lines, but crack wherever they feel like it, causing me to question why I’ll never learn, and why I always throw a tantrum for the inconvenience, when I know it’s going to happen
    23. Why I lose my phone sparking a 15 minute searching frenzy every single time I’m talking on it
    24. Why I vague out during almost every credit card transaction in the shops, leaving the shop assistant patiently waiting for me to input my PIN, while I drift away and contemplate the thoughts in my head….quickly followed by…”when you’re ready” and “oh gosh sorry, I am half asleep”
    25. Why, when we are considered an intelligent privileged culture, we are actually properly broken, with divorce, depression, suicide, obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, domestic violence, and ignorance controlling our daily lives, and effecting our happiness, but third world cultures, who are considered less privileged, and who have much much less than us, are scientifically proven to be ‘happier’.
    26. Why when I walk into Bunnings I turn into a man
    27. Why I never get sick of the taste of Coke
    28. How something can fall behind the couch and enter the black hole of nowhere, never, ever to be seen again, causing endless frustration with the knowledge this thing is cruising somewhere with all the socks and pens of the world
    29. How the remote control is solely responsible for domestic violence, family fights and major control issues, metamorphosing otherwise lovely children and husband into wild, defensive monsters.
    30. Why I’m leaving number 30 blank, so that you can fill it in!

    Like

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