Posted in Funny, Stories

It’s wise to be suspicious when it comes to an 11 yr old

‘I received an e-mail from my youngest SON this morning.

I have never received one from him before by the way, he’s 11, and he’s at school as we speak.

I hope.

Please see below

What has he done this time
What has he done this time
Hang on, no. They'll call me to fetch him
Hang on, no. They’ll call me to fetch him
Phew, I'm safe
Phew, I’m safe
Bye Bye, Son
Bye Bye, Son
Please tell me he didn't just say that
Please tell me he didn’t just say that



This is the Story, I have been believing all day, for I have no reason to doubt my 11 year old do I?

I wondered how I was going to get the blood out of his white shirt, and pondered my approach.

I arrived at school for pick up-unusual as I am usually working- and along he prances, toward the car with his hands over his shirt.

“Show me” I demanded, suspiciously-I am ALWAYS suspicious.

He showed me with a smile from here to Texas.

Before I had the chance to open my mouth, he blurted out the following:

“Ha!!!! Pranked you. It’s fine mum, it’s tomato sauce.”

He appeared to be quite pleased with himself, but I was furious. It was worse than first anticipated.

I could see a small patch of white in his shirt, but it was mostly red. Tomato sauce covered it’s entire frontage.

“Are you serious Xavier?”

“Yep. Deadly. It’s only tomato sauce”

“I can see that. What I mean is, what the heck happened…and why….and YOU are so washing it yourself sunshine”

He wasn’t perturbed in the slightest.

“It’s a long, long, story”

I was happy for him to keep it to himself, but he launched into a detailed description, whether I liked it or not.

“You wouldn’t believe what happened. I was walking along, and I found a $5-00 note on the ground, so I thought..’sick’…and I ran to the tuck shop and bought some junk. A saussage roll and a drink, which I gave away because it wasn’t my money anyway, and you’ll see that’s why I haven’t eaten my lunch”

“You what? Why? It costs me money to make your lunch”

“Nope, I didn’t eat any of it, none of it. Not the carrot and not the salada’s…oh but I ate the chocolate cookie….and so I was eating my saussage roll and W kicked the soccer ball at me and ‘Whammo’, tomato sauce splashed everywhere. I only had two mouthfuls. That’s the second time that’s happened with tuck shop. The last time he kicked the soccer ball it also knocked my saussage roll all over the chair….so he owes me two saussage rolls now”

He said all of this with a huge smile through his gappy teeth, not at all fussed about what I would say.

“You should have seen our class today. It is the naughtiest class in history”

“Well that’s not good Xav”

“Yep. I don’t know how the relief teachers make it through the day, and poor Mrs G”

“Well I hope you’re not one of them”

“I am. I was a little bit cheeky, and I was kept in at lunch”- smiling

“Why are you happy about that?”

“Oh that’s nothing. I’m cheakier with L at swimming. She kicked me out of the pool once”

FLYNN pipes up-

“Are you stupid Xavier? You are completely incriminating yourself. You’re not even trying to lie”

ME:”I don’t know what to say, but trust me. I’ll think of something”

“And K got hit in the head with a ball 6 times today. So I was tomato head, and she was ball magnet”

“I feel like I’m in a strange mood. Do you think I’m in a strange mood mum?”

“No. The thought never crossed my mind…..and Xavier…”


“You are so washing that shirt tonight”



"I have been writing and creating images all my life-though it's only now, that I have finally let in the light" ~N.Martin

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s