THE SUPERMARKET IS A DANGEROUS PLACE
I gave myself an extraordinary fright in the Supermarket last week.
It’s bizarre how many odd things seem to happen to me in Woolworths. The position I found myself in was familiar to me, however not quite to this extent.
I did a round of shopping as I normally do. Up and down the aisles I went, throwing things in, trying not to forget anything. It was frighteningly close to closing time. I made my way up to the checkout. I waited my turn in the queue.
After a few minutes of waiting and staring blankly into space, I noticed a big coloured tube in my trolley.
How the heck did that get in there?
I was worried for a second that someone had something sinister stashed in it and they’d shoved it in my trolley and done a runner. As I carefully examined the tube, I also noticed a Barbie doll underneath the bread. ????!
-I don’t remember putting THIS in my trolley.
The horrible truth revealed itself when my eyes didn’t recognise a single thing in this crooked wheeled box of steel, with the worst turning circle ever, and the sharpest teeth in the whole wide world, designed specifically to rip toe nails off when you least expect it.
I panicked as I realised I’d nabbed someone else’s trolley.
Usually, I slip it back quietly when the fellow shopper is bagging bananas, and they are none the wiser. This time however, I had taken it for quite the walk, and it was clearly a long way from its owner. I scanned the shop for a place to hide as I was extremely exposed where I was.
I mean, they must have been furious by now. Just imagine turning to your trolley to place your lovely packed bananas in it and stopping short to find it had vanished. I can just see them scratching their heads, questioning their own sanity as they wonder where the heck they could’ve put it. Little did they know, a thief like me had taken off with it, and headed straight for the exit.
I couldn’t see anybody running around frantically, but I knew they would soon find me. To be honest, I thought it best to take off down one of the aisles and quietly DUMP it when no one was looking. I could easily pretend I was simply checking out the coffee.
“Oh hello. Have you misplaced your trolley? Yes I noticed this one here, all by itself. Perhaps it’s yours?”
Then I’d scoot off, find mine and carry on.
So I headed off down the aisles, looking for an appropriate dumping ground, desperate to avoid being sprung with the runaway goods. Strangely, there were only a few shoppers left. Just when I thought I had spotted the unwilling victim, they would casually keep walking. This was ridiculous.
What I DID find, was MY trolley. Dumped in a far away corner.
They’d done to my trolley just what I was about to do to theirs, and they’d done a runner. With renewed vigour, knowing I was now not the only guilty party, I marched up to the gathering of supermarket assistants (they were about to close) and informed them that I had stumbled upon a lost trolley with someone’s shopping in it that I am sure the owner was desperate to find.
The young girl looked at me and said: “Oh no don’t worry, that’s just one of our trolleys with ‘out of date’ stock in it…….”
“Oh” -was the only word I could find.