It happens. What happens? Rubbish happens. All the time. Everyday.
Consistently, we find ourselves in challenging situations. Sometimes, we handle them well, and we quietly congratulate ourselves as we use our experience to problem solve. Other times, we handle them badly, and we regret our very real human reaction disappointing ourselves when the observable result is poor.
There are those of us that love to dig. We dig and dig and dig a massive hole for ourselves half way to the centre of the earth, as we ride the wave of frustration, disappointment and anger. We put on our steel armoured jackets and shoot bullets left right and centre until we have no ammunition left, and then we rapidly hibernate for the winter. The majority of us have done this at some point in our lives, when we feel the need to defend our ego.
Many relationships have been irreparably damaged in this way, when the attempt to prove a point is taken to the nth degree with the simple but very powerful aim of defending ourselves. One has to ask whether it’s really worth it, you know, in the grand scheme of things. I often think after the event…….does it really matter? Do I really want to hurt this person?
It would be ideal if both parties could recognise their differences, call a consensual truce and move forward, with the understanding that we all see things through our own eyes. We will ALWAYS see it our way, because it’s really the only true way we CAN see it. Through our OWN unique mind, through our OWN unique life’s experiences. It is within this framework that our personal opinions and beliefs are born.
Quite often our differences are so severe, that accepting them seems impossible, and calling it a day the driving force to a happier life.
Just be certain, that a once compatible relationship is not being damaged by the powerful human need to defend ourselves and protect our ego’s. A perfectly fixable situation can sometimes decline at a rapid rate of knots if we jump on the train of resentment and stay there. It is a long, long, lonely journey.
Leap off that train as soon as you realise you have boarded, and try acceptance. Try understanding that the other party is simply seeing the situation through their eyes, as you are, a perfectly human trait.
Events of the past fortnight have given me a private viewing of the bigger picture. They have reinforced in me, that some things simply can’t be fixed. No matter how hard you try, not ever.
So rubbish happens.
It happens on a regular basis, however today, I am choosing acceptance over resentment. Compassion over aggression, for the simple reason that one can go a long way to ‘fixing it’ through the simple understanding that,
‘Not everybody sees the world as I do’